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Q. I am a 38-year-old professional male. I was fired unjustly from my job. Now, I am at home with my wife and three children. My wife works. I now feel very depressed and demotivated. My young children ask, "Dad, why don't you work anymore?" I hate my supervisor who caused me to lose my job and want to get even with him. I also need to find a job.

A. I am sorry you feel that you have been dismissed unfairly from your job. It is difficult losing a job in this economic climate and double hard when you lose your employment for no good reason.

The feelings of being stressed and demotivated are natural when one becomes a 'victim' of disengagement especially when you could be advancing your professional life. As a professional with academic qualifications, knowledge and skills, you will want to put these to productive use, and as a family man. You may begin to feel you are not able to make a meaningful contribution or provide adequately for your family. It is, therefore, not surprising you are experiencing these emotions at this time.

However, blaming your supervisor for the loss of job is not helpful, especially as you are harbouring feelings of hatred, bitterness, anger and revenge. You need to let go of those feelings and do not allow the supervisor and the memory of what you think he did keep on hurting you. Revenge appears natural and easy. However, it does not solve the problem or bring the satisfaction one expects. Forgiveness is not easy and is a process, but would help you. You need to forgive and move on and try to find solutions to your main problem, which is the need for a job. Perhaps, you could write your former supervisor, tell him how you feel and forgive him. This will make you less depressed and could make it easier for you to move ahead.

Depending on the state of the job market in your field, you may want to continue in your field or you may consider changing careers. Changing careers will require you acquiring new knowledge and skills. While you try to create a job or find a job, register and start a new study programme. This will make you more marketable.

Please tell your family, friends, neighbours and acquaintances you are unemployed and seeking a job. If you are not part of a service organisation or professional group, it may be time to join one that could give some assistance with your job hunt.

It is good that your wife has a job. Ensure that you affirm her in her job and support her.

It is good that your children have expressed their concern about your not going out to work. They recognise that there has been a change. It would be a good idea for you to explain to your children why you are not engaged in your former employment. They ought to be told, your loss of work will continue to affect the family. This period of unemployment should be used as a time to spending more quality time with the children. I hope while your wife is at work you help with the housework. In addition, doing housework can be rewarding. The children ought to be taught that while you do not go out to work, you are contributing to the family in other ways. You could use this opportunity to teach them about setbacks in life.

Keep trying to find a job and learn dispute-resolution skills so that your relationship with supervisors in the future might be better.

Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com.